Horsechimes
By Paddy McAloon

Tuning:  EbAbC#F#BbEb  (I.e., down half step)

Chords:

G		320003
D7		000212
Cmaj7		032000
Am7		002010
Bm7		224232
C		032010
D9		054555
D11		054556
Fmaj7		003210
Edim		002323
Fdim		003434
Ebmaj7		668786
Ebdim		001212
F#dim		004545
Bbmaj7		113231
Ab		466544
Cm		335543
Dm		000231
Dm7		000211

Intro: 	G   D7   Cmaj7 x2

		 Am7	     Bm7	      	
Hello, Johnson.  Your mother once gave me a 
C    D7      G	
Lift back in school.
                         D9  D11    G          D7   
"That's no reason to get     so ex -cited."
Cmaj7			  Am7        Bm7         	
I'd been playing football with the youngsters-
C        D7           G
Johnson, please don't dramatize.
                         D9  D11    G           D7   
"And you can't even spell 	 'salacious'!"
Cmaj7		    Am7	          Bm7	    	
In a caravette with such a pretty widow, 
    C   	  D7          G	
But wheels aren't there to be looked at.
                           D9  D11	G     D   
"And it's cheap to say that    she's delicious    
F             Fmaj7
   When she's someone's daughter."

Chorus:
Cmaj7		  D7	 
Horse chimes - so stupid and so mean.
G	 Edim         D                D7
On the offensive, all wolf-whistle and jeans.
Cmaj7             D7                    
Horse chimes-they neigh, they never bell;
G             Edim       D7  	        D9   Fdim  
All straw and piss, they never kiss but tell.
Ebmaj7    Edim   F   Fmaj7        Ebdim     F#dim    Ebmaj7
Horse     chimes         -course  times are here.
Bbmaj7      F	     Ab    Cm   Dm      Dm7
And don't I know it,   and I'm ashamed.
Fmaj7	      C      D                Dm7
And you won't say it	that we're to blame.
D7	   Cmaj7
And I must change.

[same as above]
There is a saying tailor-made for her: she's the apple of your eye.
"Lord, don't smother her in soapy feelings."
You buy a pedestal only to rest it in a wheelchair.
"Beauty can't be beauty till it's dying."
And I think I'll die unless I kiss you-please don't murder me.
"Hark, I hear the ghost of feeling leaving,
And you know what pushed her!"

Chorus